There once was a boy named Fred. Fred was a young lad trying to be somebody. He wanted to become an actor. He took acting classes and was ready to finally audition. He wanted to be the Phantom for The Phantom of the Opera. It was his dream role. Fred loved to sing as well. Ever since he was a small child. Being only 19 years old, he was aspiring to be the youngest Opera Ghost. Three weeks after his audition, he was excited to hear that he had landed the part. His understudy, Jack also played the Vicomte de Chagny, or as he is better known as, Raoul. Fred loved to look at Jack singing. He loved to look at Jack dancing and singing. He loved to look at Jack dancing, singing, and acting. He loved Jack. They were in the same acting class and Jack had been the one to recommend Fred to go for the part of the Phantom. Jack was 23 years old. After about 3 months into practicing, Jack and Fred had become close. So close in fact that Jack took Fred to the aide after rehearsal to kiss him. Jack was Fred’s first kiss. As well as his last. Jack asked Fred to go out on a date with him. Fred was very excited. Too excited that he forgot to look both ways before crossing the busy Manhattan street. As Fred lay there, struggling to breathe, all he could think of was Jack.
Fred separated from his body. All he could hear was Mozart’s Symphony No. 40 playing as he tried to register what had happened. He screamed. No one turned around. No one heard him. Fred cried. He saw Jack running towards the accident. Jack screamed louder than Fred. Jack dropped down to his knees and put Fred’s head on his lap and rocked back and forth. Jack couldn’t stop crying. After the paramedics arrived Jack wouldn’t let go of Fred’s hand. Fred did not die. He was placed into a coma. Jack visited everyday. Hoping that he would wake up. Jack took over the role as the Phantom. Fred laughed to himself in the irony of the situation. He could not understand how his mind could be away from his body but it was. He watched Jack everyday as he prepared for opening night. One night in the hospital where Fred resided, he heard Jack whispering for Fred to wake up. Fred wanted to wake up too. But he didn’t know how. He didn’t want to wake up to take his part back either. He wanted to wake up so that he can have his chance to be with Jack.
On opening night, Fred placed a kiss on Jacks cheek as Jack prepared to make his first appearance. Jack looked up suddenly as if he felt the kiss. Jack let a tear escape. Fred watched every single performance. He watched a Jack led the cast into a small dedication for Fred. Ten days before closing night, Fred felt his clench. He didn’t understand what was wrong. He went back to his body and saw that he was beginning to move. He felt weak, as if he was fading. Fred blinked and he saw a bright white light. He couldn’t help but call out Jacks name. “Fred? Fred?” is all he heard. HE finally blinked into consciousness. Fred saw a man in all white look at him. “Mr. Bellamy?” Fred had never seen this man before. “Mr. Bellamy my name is Doctor Shepard. How are you feeling?” Fred asked for Jack. “Mr. Bellamy, Jack is already on his way. We took the liberty of contacting him once you were beginning to wake up.” Fred cried a little. He was finally awake; he remembered everything. Jack burst through the door and ran into Fred’s doctor as he was leaving. Fred began to cry even more as he ripped out all the wires and tubes connected to his arms and jumped out of his bed. But since he had been immobile for so long, he fell into Jacks arms. Jack pressed his face into his own and kissed him. Fred heard Handel’s, Messiah Hallelujah suddenly play in his mind. “Marry me,” Jack asked. Fred smiled at him and whispered, “Of course.”
On the day of Jacks closing performance, Fred stood in the front row clapping after everyone one of his songs. He had never felt so proud. Jack and Fred are happily married now with 2 adopted children, Aurora and Zachary. Both Jack and Fred still act either on stage or in the big screen.
-First Draft Reflection-
Due to the feedback I received during the workshop, I need to switch up the story to have Fred be hit by the car in the intro then flash back to his life before the accident and continue on, as he becomes a ghost. Another thing I might change is his name to Simon rather than Fred. I also want to add more action to the accident scene to better represent the situation as it occurs in my mind and transfer it onto paper. My goal for this story is to invoke emotion. I want at least one person to feel sad for Fred (soon to be Simon) and perhaps even cry. I want someone to cry as they read it. Another change to add to this story is to kill Simon altogether and have him watch as what was once his world move on without him. I want to give him unfinished business to keep him grounded and later on have him fulfill some purpose and leave. Perhaps I’ll add another character for him to be reunited with in the afterlife.
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